If you and your partner are curious about BDSM, try these tips to explore dominatrix-style roleplay.
8 Tips for Exploring Dominatrix Role Play
Here are some ways to get started if you’re interested in role-playing as a dominatrix with your partner Seattle Dominatrix.
- Speak first. Before engaging in any type of BDSM play, you’ll want to talk to your partner about their bodies, desires, and mental or emotional boundaries. In this conversation, you can establish safe words, such as ‘yellow’ and ‘red’ at a traffic light, and agree on non-verbal cues that will keep you in the moment without potentially violating consent.
- Pay attention to body language. When you take on the role of dominatrix, your partner is trusting you with their safety and pleasure. Honor this powerful role by observing your partner’s reactions and cues and reacting accordingly.
- Make a list of what you are and are not comfortable with. Create a written document that outlines what you and your partner want to try, including hard limits and boundaries. Some ideas may include role-playing, teasing, delayed gratification, or freedom of choice. If you and your partner are interested in exploring BDSM, kink, and fetishes, but aren’t exactly sure what you want, brainstorm together.
- Get into character. Dressing up is a great way to get into your dominant character. Choose something that makes you feel powerful, whether it’s a corset and leather pants, strappy lingerie, or a business suit. You may want to choose a dominatrix name and title (such as Goddess, Queen, or Mistress) to further embody your domme alter-ego.
- Eliminate expectations of sex. Instead of focusing on genital sex and orgasm, create a safe space for play, openness, and catharsis. Removing some of the expectations normally associated with genital intercourse leaves room for exploration and discovery.
- Stick to the script. As part of the domme/sub power dynamic, most people don’t engage in any play that hasn’t been agreed upon before the session. That means saying ‘no’ to any request in the moment, and not pushing anything new and non-consensual on your submissive.
- Learn how to use accessories. If you and your partner are interested in impact play or bondage, you can incorporate sex toys and accessories such as paddles, crops, or restraints that provide the right thrill without the risk of pain or serious damage. Before adding accessories to your routine, make sure you know exactly how to use them. Start with gentler options like blindfolds, handcuffs, and spanking, or consider taking a bondage class with your partner to learn more.
- Don’t skip aftercare. Aftercare is the time after sex or play when you and your partner can express appreciation for each other. After any BDSM experience, you want to set aside time to be tender with your partner with activities like cuddling, pillow talk, and emotional check-ins. Talk to your partner about any feelings that came up in the session and openly discuss what worked or didn’t work for both of you.